10 ways to pretend you know UX (when you don’t) 10种假装你很懂UX的方法（当你不懂的时候）

The most amazing thing, to me, is when people try to pretend that they have expertise when they actually know very little.
对于我而言，最让人惊奇的事，莫过于当人们装作他们（对某件事）很专业，但实际上他们却（对这件）事一无所知。

This is an epidemic in UX.
这个现象在UX（用户体验）中像传染病一样普遍。
And like any good vaccine, I have to infect you with a small dose so you can kill it in real life.
就像任何一种好的疫苗一样，我必须给你打上一小针，这样你就能够在现实生活中避免这种现象的发生。
So here is my guide to how it’s done.
因此以下是我对这件事如何完成的指南。

While a confident, rational person would admit it when they don’t understand something during a conversation, apparently it is much more satisfying to be a douchebag and add your misguided two cents instead.
一个自信、理智的人，当他们在谈话中不明白某些事情的时候，他们会承认他们不懂；但是很显然，做一个混球，发表一些误导别人的意见，似乎更加让人满足。

The unfortunate part is that UX is a mystery to a lot of clients, bosses, and colleagues, so they will believe whatever nonsense comes out of someone’s mouth, even when it will hurt their business.
非常不幸，UX对于很多用户、老板以及同事来说都是一个谜，所以他们会轻易相信某人嘴中说出来的话，无论那多么离谱，即使当那些话会有损他们的生意。

The following guide will teach you the phrases and strategies you need to get through a meeting with a client, a job interview, or an online discussion forum while having no idea what you’re talking about.
下面的指南会教你一些常用语与策略，来帮助你通过一个与客户的会面，一个工作的面试，或者论坛在线讨论，当你不知道你们在交谈的东西是什么的时候。

If you do any of these, I hate you. If you hear any of these in real life, call bullshit, immediately.
如果你用了这些伎俩，我会恨你的。如果你在现实生活中听到别人这样夸夸奇谈的时候，可以马上让对方不要喷粪。

Enjoy.
享受吧。

**1: “From a design perspective…”
1.“从设计的角度来看…”**
Every time I hear or read a UX argument that starts with this phrase I disregard whatever comes after it.
每次我听到或者读到以这句话开始的UX评论时，不管评论后面是什么内容，我都不会再继续看。

There is no such thing as a “design perspective.”
没有“设计角度”这种东西。

There is no God of Design sitting somewhere, creating a perspective that agrees completely with your bullshit preferences.
不会在哪个地方存在那种能够完全契合你混账喜好的“神之设计”。

When someone starts their argument with this phrase, what you should hear in your mind is “My personal, unsupported, irrelevant preference is…”
当有人以这句话开始他们的评论时，你脑海中实际听到的应该是“我个人以为的，没有任何证据支撑的，完全不相干的喜好是…”

**2: “Best Practices say…”
2.“最好的实践表明…”**
Best practices are a real thing, but that doesn’t mean that the UX person has used them, knows them, or knows what makes them “best”.
最好的实践是存在的，但是那不意味着一个UX工作人员用过它，知道它，或者知道什么让它成为“最好”。

Whenever someone prescribes a solution based on the fact that it is a “best practice” it means they haven’t thought of a solution, so they’re using someone else’s.
无论何时，当一个人描述某种解决方案基于一种“最好的实践”时，它意味着他们自己没有解决方案，所以他们用别人的。

Just ask them why that best practice applies, and when they fall all over themselves trying to break it down, you’ll know.
只要问问他们，为什么那种最好的实践会被应用，当他们完全觉得自己很棒时，试着慢慢去分析那些事，你就会明白。

If a non-design person says this, just walk the other way.
如果一个完全不懂设计的人说这这些话，走开就好，无需多言。

**3: “Let’s look at an analogy…”
3.“让我们打个比方…”**
Analogies aren’t bad per se, but you can use them to make just about anything sound like a good idea.
打比方本身并没什么问题，但是（不好的地方在于）你可以用打比方这种方式，让任何东西听起来都是一个好的想法。

If someone is using an analogy to explain what they plan to do, fine.
如果一个人用打比方的方式来说明他们计划怎样做，没问题。

If they are using it to explain why they want to do it, plug your ears.
如果他们用这种方式来如果他们解释为什么想要这样做，堵上你的耳朵吧。

Concrete solutions should have concrete reasons, not metaphorical abstract ones.
具体的解决方案应该有具体的理由，而不是通过比喻抽象说明。

**4: [Industry Jargon Here]
4.[行业术语]**
In my opinion, a UX designer that speaks a lot of jargon is bad at their job.
我认为一个讲很多术语的UX设计师并做不好自己的工作。

Think about it: this is a person who is PAID to make things easy to understand.
想想看吧，你给这个人工资，是让这个人把事情变得更容易理解。

If you don’t understand what they just said because it was full of buzzwords and nonsense, they either suck, or they are covering the fact that they have absolutely no clue what the answer is… which means they suck.
如果你因为他们的言谈中充满了术语与废话而不能理解，他们要么是不行，要么就是他们掩盖了某些事实，因为他们完全不知道答案的线索…总之，他们就是不行。

Never pay for jargon. Never hire jargon. Never use jargon if you can help it.
不要给只讲术语的人薪水，也不要雇佣他们。除非你受得了，否则别用这种人。

**5: “The research says…”
5.“研究表明…”**
I am genuinely amazed how often this is said by UX professionals, even in discussion forums with other UX professionals.
UX的专业人员经常把这句话挂在嘴边，即便是在论坛上与其他UX专业人员的交流中，对此我表示真心惊讶。

There is no mountain in Nepal that you can climb to ask The Research Oracle what they say about your particular problem.
在尼泊尔没有这样的山，你可以爬上去问问甲骨文研究者（The Research Oracle），问他们对你特定问题的见解。

There is always conflicting views among researchers, and the research they have done isn’t necessarily good or applicable to your problem.
研究者之间的观点往往是矛盾的，而且他们完成的研究对你的问题来说，不一定是好的或者可实施的。

The UX person is the researcher, but calling themselves “The Research” makes most people keep their questions to themselves.
UX工作人员就是研究者，但是把他们自己叫做“研究”让大多数人把问题留给自己。

When someone says this, ask to see the studies, the methods, the sources, and talk about the raw data versus the interpretation of that data.
当某人这么说时，要求去看这些研究，这些方法，（研究的）来源，并且谈谈原始数据以及对这些数据的解读。

**6: “This is an established pattern.”
6.“这是一种已经建立起来的模式。”**
Just in case you’re not aware, a common way of solving a particular problem in design is called a Design Pattern.
为了避免你不知道，（我先告诉你，）针对某个特别设计问题的通用解决方法叫做设计模式。

An example is something like hiding the menu in a mobile app to make the layout simpler, like Facebook’s app.
例如，一个移动app中会通过隐藏按钮来使app界面更简洁，就好像Facebook的app一样。

There is nothing wrong with patterns, but when someone wants to use a solution because it’s a pattern you have a problem.
通用模式并没有错，但是当有人想要一种解决方案，就因为那是一种通用模式时，你的问题就来了。

Your problem: the designer is lazy.
你的问题就是：设计师太懒了。

This phrase basically says “It’s the first thing I thought of, and I am tired of thinking.”
这句话基本上就等于在说“这（指通用模式）是我首先想到的，而且我懒得再去思考了。”

What you should ask next is why that pattern is the right solution for the current problem.
你应该接着问的是，为什么那种模式是解决当下问题的适合的解决方案。

**7: “Twitter does it.”
7.“Twitter这么做了。”**
Similar to the previous one, this is merely copying something that exists, whether it is a good idea or not.
与前一种情况类似，这句话反映的是只复制那些已经存在的事，不管那是不是一个好的创意。

It is often followed by something like “they wouldn’t use it if they hadn’t tested it.”
这句话以后，通常还会接上这句话“如果他们没测试过，他们就不会这样用。”

Actually they would, just like this person is trying to do now.
实际上他们会这样做，比如这个人正在做一些尝试性的事。

I cannot say this clearly enough: the fact that another website did it is NEVER a good reason to do ANYTHING.
我无法完全讲清楚：其他网站是这样做的，这样一个事实，不是我们要去这样做的一个好理由。

Ever. In your life. Period.
无论何时，在你的生命中，句号。

**8: Focus Groups.
8.关注群体**
Pffft. Where are we, at an ad agency in 1965?
噗，我们所处的时空是什么，1965年的广告代理吗？

Do some reading about user testing, analytics, eye tracking, card sorting, interview methods, A/B testing, and anything else you find that sounds related.
读一些关于用户测试、分析、眼动追踪、卡片分类、面试方法、A/B的内容，还有其他任何你发现的听起来有关的事。

And let us never speak of focus groups again.
让我们再也不要提起关注群体了。

**9: Blame users (that you created).
9.责怪用户（你创造的那些）。**
Blaming users is the basic form of denial among UX people.
责怪用户是UX人员中主要的抵赖方式。

When a designer says the users aren’t registering because they are stupid, or they couldn’t find the button, or whatever, you should hear “I fucked up.”
用户不注册是因为他们太蠢，或者他们找不到按钮，或者其他任何的话，（当一个UX人员这么说时），你应该听到的是，“我把这些事搞糟了”。

The more sophisticated version of this is to blame a “type” of user, or the “average user”.
责怪用户的更复杂的说法是责怪一种“类型”的用户，或者“普通用户”。

When a UX person or a marketer starts justifying colors or features or prices or the text fields in a form — that will cost you money to change — by saying that their hypothetical users want it… stop the bus.
当一个UX人员或者销售开始通过说，他们假定的用户需要这些，因此以某种方式证明（添加）颜色、功能、价格或者文本框是合理的，当然改变那些会花费你的资金。还是停车吧（别这么干）。

**10: Use big numbers. Any big numbers.
10.用大数据，任何大数据都要用**
I can’t tell you the number of times that I have heard someone justify doing anything on Facebook, because Facebook has over a billion users.
我无法告诉你我已经听了多少次，某些人辩解说在Facebook上做了某些事，因为Facebook有超过10亿的用户。

Or say that a campaign was highly successful because of how many banner exposures they bought.
或者说一个运动非常成功是因为他们买了多少多少横幅。

And so on.
以及类似的说法。

Those numbers mean absolutely nothing unless they translated into a high percentage of successful registrations, purchases, etc.
那些数字绝对一点用的没有，除非这些数字被转化为很高比例的成功注册或购买行为。

AND… those conversions were people that were happy and came back again.
还有…那些能反映人们很高兴，而且还会在回来（使用）的转化。

If you spend $1000 for every like on Facebook because your SEO is terrible, it doesn’t really matter how many users Facebook has, now does it?
如果以你为Facebook上的每一种喜好花费1000$，因为你的搜索引擎很糟糕，这与Facebook有多少用户无关，（难道）现在就有关了？

When someone wants you to do something because they have a lot of 0’s in their presentation, you should fire them.
当一个人想要你做一些事时，是因为他们PPT中有很多的“0”，你应该开除那些人。

Now go out into the world, call some bullshit, and make me proud!
现在你可以出师了，叫某些人不要在胡说八道，让我（为你）骄傲吧！

原文来自: http://thehipperelement.com/
注: 本文重新翻译了一下, 其他网站也有类似翻译, 大体意思是相近的,
因为这骗文章抨击了一些现实的情况, 我还是看了原文并且与同事进行翻译, 有不准确的地方还请指正.